zzzomg

Sleep has become almost as mysterious as God and women...

Knock Knock

Today the small group leaders and I went to an apartment complex near University of Missouri - St. Louis (UMSL) to share 5-minute versions of the Gospel with students attending UMSL. Knocking on people's doors to evangelize reminded me of when Jehovah's Witnesses or other evangelical Christians would come knocking on my door at home to evangelize to us and give us some literature. I remember being polite toward these people but never really wanting them around.

It's hard to believe that now I have become one of those somewhat intimidating, pretty annoying, and perhaps crazy people who knock on people's doors to talk about Jesus. Though I feel like nothing else in life matters compared to having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, I am not sure what is the best way to share how I feel about this with other people. I think that going out with the mindset of converting people is wrong; they have the right to believe whatever they want to believe in regards to religion, spirituality, the meaning of life, worldview, etc. However, because I feel like there has been nothing more illuminating, heartfelt, powerful, and life-changing in my life as Jesus, it's something that I want to share with others. Is going door-to-door to talk with strangers about Jesus effective? When I was not Christian, it definitely didn't make a positive impact on me. While we can tell them how much it means to us and how much it could mean to them, we can't force them to become Christian or condemn them for not being Christian.

So do I go door-to-door with the disclaimer that I am not out to convert or condemn them? Do I just hand out literature? (I think I would answer no to that already - the most important part about outreach is the relationship) Do I befriend non-Christians and then share the Gospel with them after gaining their trust and piquing their curiosity?

Who's there? Ingold???

Intellectual Bucket List

Understand the main ideas of some the most important philosophers and theologians in history, including but not limited to:
-Socrates
-Plato
-Aristotle
-St. Augustine
-St. Thomas Aquinas
-Descartes
-Locke
-Hume
-Kant
-Hegel
-Kierkegaard
-Nietzsche
-Russel

Read the works of these writers:
-Shakespeare
-Tolstoy
-Dostoyevsky
-C. S. Lewis

Get to know these historical figures:
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer
-MLK Jr.
-Gandhi
-Mother Teresa
-Oscar Romero
-Grand Duchess Elizabeth

Become familiar with religious texts such as:
-Quran
-Dao De Jing
-Bhagavad Gita

A Toast

I don't deserve to be saved.

I don't deserve to have friends.

I don't deserve to be lavished with gifts and blessings on my birthday.

No one is entitled to anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yet, by grace, I am saved.

By grace, I have friends who love me.

By grace, I had one of the best, if not the best, birthdays of my life. For a 21st birthday, the only thing I could have asked for more of was alcohol (which is no big deal).

By grace, my cup overflows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cheers, to Him who calls me friend and them whom I call friends.

When the River Runs Dry

Homework. Tests. Research. Small Group. PLTL. Tutoring. Treasury. Even IM sports. My life has become deluged with an overwhelming flood of things to do, and not enough time to do it all.

I pull out a blue, folded slip of card stock. I hold the card stock in front of me, and the never-ending stream of work and activities crashes into an impenetrable wall, despite its seemingly porous nature. For three days the card stock will hold the river back, and I will be left standing on firm, dry ground with 49 friends. For those three days, we will not have to worry about the river, and our attention will be solely on He who parts seas and moves mountains.

During these three days, I hope that each of us finds a rock in the middle of the river that we will carry with us so that we will remember when the flood of college life was stopped by a little piece of card stock sent from God; a piece of card stock on which every one of our names was written with the hope that one day our names will be found written in the Book of Life.

And after those three days, we shall cross the river into the Promised Land, where many battles await us. But we will fight without fear, for during those three days will we be equipped with armor of God. No river, no sword, no essay or exam can stop us from claiming our inheritance in the Kingdom of Heaven as children of God through Jesus Christ.

God does not call the equipped. He equips the called.

Raaa-raaa-ra-a-a-ahhh!

Recently I heard "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga on the radio. It was actually kind of nice hearing it, considering how ridiculously overplayed it once was. There are several different ways I look at the song.

The perspective that's probably easier to consider is wanting to be more than "just friends" with someone of the opposite gender. I would imagine that it's really common among people who are shy or nervous about expressing their romantic feelings. And of course, there's waiting for the day when your feelings are finally reciprocated. Maybe that person had feelings for you all along and was in the same boat you were in. Maybe that person was not interested in you in that way at first or were already in a relationship ("You Belong With Me" or "Teardrops on My Guitar" anyone?), but then later realized how much you love him/her and all that you've done for your friend.

As dreamy and rosy-colored as that relationship might be, I'm actually glad that Lada Gaga also mentions some of the negative or challenging aspects of relationships, namely facing your beloved's horrors, diseases, and psycho tendencies. Loving someone means loving the whole person, not just the good aspects of that person. There will be drama and maybe even horror in a relationship. If you really want to love someone, you will have to bear with that person's bad habits, anger, fears, insecurities, flaws, ugliness, past emotional baggage, traumatic or painful experiences, whatever. None of us are perfect, but we all want to be loved.

And now comes my criticism of the conceptions of love presented in the song. Love is not an uncontrollable obsession (better exemplified in Ke$ha's "Your Love is My Drug"). Love is a choice to commit to someone. A person should not go into a relationship to satiate their lust (no need to mention all of the sexual innuendos in the song), experience the thrills and drama of a relationship, or satisfy the need to feel and be loved. Doing so is just asking for heartache, heartbreak, and revenge (although I guess that's what Lady Gaga wants). Love is not about me; it's about you.

I've seen and heard about (well, more so heard about) so many broken hearts and torn relationships. I just want people to save themselves needless pain and wasted time, energy, and money. Please, save your love for a person who is truly worth the devotion and sacrifice, and always ask yourself why you want to be with someone before you jump into something that you didn't quite ask for.

Also there are times (or more like most of the time) where friendship is more beneficial and rewarding than romance with someone of the opposite gender you care about. I'm no expert in that area, so I'll leave advice on that matter to others or future me.

Finally, I want to say that no romantic relationship will completely satisfy you. The only thing that can is God and His love for us. For thousands of years, God has been setting the prime example of what it means to love someone and showing us how bad we are at loving Him, let alone other people. Only when we love God can we truly begin to love other people as we all want to be loved and are meant to be loved; a love that is selfless, unconditional, and unending.

Raaa-raaa-ra-a-a-ahhh! Don't want your bad rooo-mance!

A Good Read

http://www.africa.upenn.edu/Articles_Gen/Letter_Birmingham.html

Why am I I?

I hate being introverted. I wish I could just get boundless energy from meeting, seeing, talking, and interacting with people. It would make it so much easier to show that I care about people and to make people feel like someone cares about them. Plus knowing a lot of people has its practical benefits as well (a.k.a. networking). Instead I usually become either drained or bored by large groups of people (if I'm not intimidated by the sheer number of people in the first place), and sooner or later I just want to leave. I see a value in introspection, but none in introversion.

I'm also fairly sure that I'm a bad, or at best mediocre, PLTL leader. I lack assertiveness and authority, am not comfortable thinking on my feet or making decisions quickly, have a tendency to stutter or mumble, and sometimes give them advice that causes my group to overthink things or get the wrong answer to a problem. I think it's good that I've unwittingly gone out of my comfort zone and tried to be a leader. I've learned a lot about myself and how to lead a small group and been forced to be more comfortable and confident about telling people what to do and speaking in a group or public setting. I still lack a lot of confidence though. Still, I normally don't like ordering people around, and I feel like I am not good at getting people to talk. I don't think my need of time to think and process things before I speak helps the flow of a discussion either. How the heck am I supposed to run a small group of Asians if I don't even lead a PLTL well (where most people are white)?

Oh, did I mention people in general intimidate me?

Sometimes, I just don't like being me.

Help!

I need somebody
Help!
Not just anybody
Help!
You know I need someone
Help!

God, I am really going to need your help this year. I am 99.99% sure that if I try to do everything I plan to do this year on my own strength and wisdom, or more like my own weakness and folly, I will fail, perhaps even collapse. Please give me to strength to do what you want me to do, to advance your kingdom, proclaim your glory, and prepare myself and those around me to do great things in Your name.

I think I'm already starting to go crazy. I'm scared. I hope I make it through this year with my body, mind, and spirit in one piece.

It's all for you God.

Renovation

Hey, there's no dust here!

It's nice to change the looks of things every once in a while. This blog has now become eye candy... O_O ... \^_^/. I hope the new design doesn't load too slowly on slow connections.

And what about the background of the background change? Well, I'm up later than I should be (as is often the case) with light rain drizzling beyond the open bay windows behind me. The soothing hum of crickets sustains my tranquil wakefulness that will soon cease once I lay my head down on a pillow. By then, the same rhythmic reverberations will become a lullaby as I slowly fall into a black abyss where my dreams await my arrival.

I like light rain. The air smells so fresh and clean, and a short stroll through the gentle droplets will not leave my clothes drenched. It also gladdens my soul to see the heavens above provide the earth below with her much needed nourishment and cleansing.

Hallelujah! Grace like rain falls down on me.

Alone in Westlake

It's really hit me how superficial my friendships were before college.

It's hard to talk to most of my friends at home about anything meaningful. It feels even harder to ask them how they're feeling. When I do ask how they're feeling, they don't say much.

Only one of my friends who I keep in touch with now from before high school is Christian.

I'm missing several friends from CityLights and the whole community in general. Even though I wasn't close with everyone, I've never been in a group as caring, real, vulnerable, passionate, diverse, fun, and unique before.

Only 7% of adults in Americans would be defined as evangelical based on the criteria at the bottom of this web page (which pretty much matches Wikipedia's definition of an evangelical Christian): http://www.barna.org/culture-articles/18-how-people-of-faith-voted-in-the-2008-presidential-race My own answer on if the Bible is accurate in everything it teaches varies depending on how the word "accurate" is defined.

And I wonder what many Christians believe about their own religion: "Among individuals who describe themselves as Christian, for instance, close to half believe that Satan does not exist, one-third contend that Jesus sinned while He was on earth, two-fifths say they do not have a responsibility to share the Christian faith with others, and one-quarter dismiss the idea that the Bible is accurate in all of the principles it teaches." Source: http://www.barna.org/faith-spirituality/15-christianity-is-no-longer-americans-default-faith

My sister's such a great person. She's more caring, sensitive, and open-minded than a lot of people I know. Yet she doesn't know much about Jesus. What happens to good people who don't follow Jesus when they die?

I feel like there may not be many people who will agree with me or support me in my life. I may not be close with my family or home or college friends in the future. I feel like even many Christians may not even understand me. I wonder if people will ridicule me for my faith or beliefs, especially in the scientific and medical community. What if what I am founding my life on turns out to be a myth or a lie? I know that few people take the narrow path, but it just feels so lonely.

I just feel like such an anomaly. I'm a little Chinese guy from a not so rich family in a rich, white suburb who loves Jesus and likes science, indie rock, Disney and Miyazaki movies, and Asian food, not including a majority of Americanized Chinese food. I know more Spanish than Chinese. I don't like bacon, candy, cake (unless it's ice cream, cookie, or fruit), and soda (to a lesser extent). I want to learn to drive a stickshift and own one in the future. I could have been a super video game nerd if I had grown up with access to video games but I'm not. I like to play sports even though I'm bad at most of them, and if there are good people playing, I won't play. Nearly all of my college friends are Asian, but all of my home friends are white except one (he's Arabic). The friends I hung out with most during high school didn't even go to my high school. I went to a Catholic high school even though I was agnostic at the time, and I remained agnostic until the end of my freshman year in college. My family has only really been friends with one or maybe two other Chinese families in my suburb, even though there are several other Chinese families in my suburb. My family consists of a zealous Taoist, a zealous Christian, an agnostic pursuing a religious studies minor, and one who is apathetic about religion.

In other words, I'm kinda Asian but not really, kinda white but not really, really nerdy but not really, kinda athletic but not really at all.

Am I becoming like hypocritical, bigoted, closed-minded, judgmental Christians who say inflammatory things about people who disagree with them? Jesus' harshest words were directed not toward prostitutes, homosexuals, tax collectors, or gentiles, but toward Pharisees, who were among the strictest observers of religious laws in the day and were among the most well versed and knowledgeable in holy scriptures.

Maybe I'm not as grateful about growing up in Westlake, one of the wealthiest suburbs on the west side of Cleveland, as I should be. But frankly I don't really like most people in Westlake. Many of the kids my age from Westlake and my Catholic high school (which was not located in Westlake but had a significant number of students from Westlake)...

-think their suburb and country is better than everyone else's.
-are materialistic.
-hate and make fun of homosexuals.
-are Christian but don't take their faith seriously at all.
-have stereotypes or prejudices about African Americans, Muslims, and Arabs.
-don't feel safe or comfortable to be themselves.

A man from the neighborhood who was walking his dogs with his wife and two children said, "Hi," to me when I was outside. I wish that would happen more often.

When home doesn't feel like home...

CityLights in Songs

The main theme of CityLights (although we didn't interact with Cambodians):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ajIFfSaEzE

When you see all of the brokenness of the world, whether it's genocide, racism, murder, rape, homelessness, prostitution, drug abuse, dysfunctional families, whatever, you wonder...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpYeekQkAdc&feature=avmsc2

Confessing and exposing your own sinfulness, and in the process, becoming healed of it. (I know I already posted this before but it means so much to me, as well as many other people from CityLights I would imagine):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFUHrXfuNU4

"Amazing Grace" is a great song about grace, but I feel like mentioning another song about grace that emphasizes the joy upon receiving and sharing it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTcThVJhDuM

A turtle (and Mama Sharie) gives good advice about love and finding the right one. For the part that the turtle actually sings, skip to 1:27:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw5RkzbHb-w

Because the sisters of CityLights are so awesome! :D I also think it would be an appropriate goodbye song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xg2vMrDzoXM

A New Creation

This song could not have come on at a better time: right after a retreat of silence at a cemetery, the day after I confessed one of my deepest sins to everyone in CityLights.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88xHIwd4CWM

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Oh Cleveland Sports

It's sad that I have not and will most likely never see LeBron James play as a Cleveland Cavalier at home in the Q. Shame on me, but Cleveland just fails at sports.

America's Beatitudes

Since I am unable to sleep at the moment, I decided to throw this out there...

Blessed are the rich in money, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who laugh, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the bold, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who are full of righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciless, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the corrupt in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the warmongers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are praised because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

I know this may sound liberal, pacifist, or whatever political term you would like to use, but I'm trying to see how accurately American attitudes can be portrayed with a simple algorithm that produces small but critical changes to Scripture.

Furthermore these beatitudes need not only apply to America.

Why?

"Meaningless! Meaningless!
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."

-Ecclesiastes 1:2

Why am I Christian? Is the main reason for becoming Christian to obtain eternal life? If so, why would I want eternal life? What is life? Is death something that should be feared?

If death is just like being asleep, then I actually wouldn't mind that. I wouldn't have to worry about anything. I wouldn't have to experience pain, suffering, and injustice.

Yet the strange thing about life is that it's ultimate goal is to live longer, produce offspring, and prolong the life of it's offspring; from a more reduced perspective, a set of DNA is trying to proliferate itself. Our natural instinct is to fear and avoid death whenever possible.

Life is absurd.

Time is a valuable thing. Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings...

Wow I can't believe I just quoted Linkin Park...I mean several years ago they were one of my favorite bands. Then I thought it was a bunch of guys trying to sound more tough and badass (while also trying to appeal to popular taste) than they really were. And now I think that they're not that bad, even though there's still better music out there. Anyways, on to the pendulum metaphor...

Since coming to college, I have realized how important friendships are. Not just the kind of the friendships where you play basketball or video games, but the real, meaningful friendships where you share what's going on in your life and what's really bothering you-the tragedies you have seen or experienced in the past, the problems you currently face, and the things you worry about in the future. Thus, I have striven to maintain a balance between friendships and academics.

However, this semester I have had an odd way of maintaining that balance. I have gone through cycles where for a period of time I hang out, play sports, talk with people, relax, and...not study. Then when a test approaches, I go into frantic study mode where the only time I might socialize is when I eat, and even then sometimes I ate by myself to save time. It's like I'm a pendulum swinging from one extreme to the other. I don't think this is the best way to maintain that balance...I've been semi-cramming for all of my exams this semester, and though I haven't done bad in any of my classes, I think I could get more sleep and retain material better if I spread out my studying.

Sophomore year has flown by so fast; much faster than freshman year. A lot has happened, a lot has changed, and there have been regrets. But now is not the time to reminisce and reflect for hours on end. The orgo final is about 30 hours away, and I've only studied for it for one hour this entire day. But I won't worry. Because...

In the end, it doesn't even matter

I'm Too Lazy. That's Too Far.

Maybe it's time we stopped saying, "Come here," and start going out there.

Oh the irony (in one sentence)

As someone who often thinks and says it's important to be willing to be vulnerable and admit one's sins, flaws, mistakes, and weaknesses, I've realized that I actually have a hard time opening up to people and sharing what really bugs me, how chaotic, messed up, or irrational my emotions and insecurities can be, and where I fumble in my own darkness, unsure of what might be wrong with me or what can be done to fix the broken parts of me that I can't even see.

Serendipity

Playing Plants vs Zombies until 5 am can lead to unforeseen positive consequences :)

. . .

Sometimes when I talk with people I run into a wall of silence. I run out of things to say. Or I have nothing to say. Or when we just finish a topic in the conversation and I don't know where the conversation is going to go next. I worry that these bouts of silence might make the other person feel awkward. I can definitely say for myself that it sometimes makes me feel awkward, because I feel like I should be saying something, but my mind is literally blank. Does this make me less personable or harder to speak to? I know it's okay to take a little bit of time to think about what someone else just said. But my mind just goes blank sometimes when I'm with other people, which is really weird because when I'm not around people I sometimes have a bunch of thoughts zipping around in my head. I don't like making things awkward.

I worry my awkward pauses and introversion might ruin my interviews or make me worse of a doctor or teacher. Or doing any sort of speaking and communicating in general.

A Look Back

While pretending to be a non-Christian during a mock GIG, I realized how much I have changed since I decided to follow Jesus, especially since that decision was made less than a year ago (11 months to be more accurate). My views on life, death, friends, relationships, marriage, individuals, humanity, personal growth, love, faith, and religion now are all so much different than they were 6 years ago when I knew virtually nothing about Christianity, 2 years ago when I was a senior attending a Catholic high school for the academics rather than the religious aspects, and even a year ago when I wanted to know more about Christ but wasn't sure if it was right for me.

As someone who was once skeptical about religion, miracles, and a god-man named Jesus, I am amazed to find out that sometimes I find it hard to think like someone who isn't Christian. Other times when I was acting as a GIG leader speaking to someone who wasn't Christian, I found out that sometimes I used terms or ideas that would make no sense to someone who was not familiar with Christianity. One of the main reasons I became interested in leading a GIG was that I thought that as an agnostic who converted to Christianity, I might be able to relate to and understand atheists and agnostics in a different way from those who had grown up in the Church their whole lives. Yet I am humbled to discover that I, a former agnostic, may not understand how an atheist or agnostic might feel about something. No matter what my previous experiences are, I have to be humble, compassionate, empathetic (or at least sympathetic), and a good listener if I want to understand someone, have that person share their feelings with sincerity, and have that person trust me, and more importantly trust God, when we try to share the Gospel with that person.

To elaborate upon what I think about all the things I mentioned in the beginning of the blog would probably lead me to write a huge essay, which I do not have time for at 4 am. However, I will say that to learn what faith, hope, and love are means so much to me. They are the foundation of my new life in Christ, and they have brought a joy and contentment that I had never felt in my life before coming to Christ. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

I never thought I would say again that after I graduated from St. Ed's.

Martha and Mary

After seeing so many pictures of the Bro Sis Banquet, I wonder if I should have spent some time chatting with other people instead of drying dishes in the kitchen after remembering Luke 10:38-42. I wonder if I had been like Martha, trying to have all the clean ups done as soon as possible while not taking time to talk with the sisters, especially Mary, my secret sister for the week, and take pictures with people. I don't have a camera, so I didn't need to take pictures, but I think by just focusing on doing clean ups I might have missed out on enjoying the end of Bro Sis week. Relaxing for a bit at the end of the banquet might have also helped me feel less drained from the banquet and enjoy the company of the sisters more.

I did make time during the banquet to talk to sisters every once in a while, especially in the small breaks where nothing was really going on. At those times I was more like Mary in the passage from Luke, who decided to talk with Jesus for a bit instead of worrying about all the preparations they had to do for the meal.

Although I think another reason why I somewhat regret not taking pictures at the end of the banquet is because I want to see more pictures of myself in a suit and tie with my friends.

Thank you sisters for the amazing gifts throughout the week and at the banquet! Great job guys for throwing a fun and delicious banquet yesterday!

Waaaaaave

Listening to good music feels like there is constructive interference between the sound wave function of the music and the electrochemical wave function of my brain...forming a bonding orbital in the space between the headphones in my ears known as my head.

So a band would be like an aromatic system...

I can't imagine what an orchestra or a concert would be...@_@

Wave functions ^_^

Sabbath

I worry about work a lot. Ironically I worry most about the work while or after I procrastinate or waste time. Today when I was doing homework after brunch I kept falling asleep. At first I didn't want to sleep because I felt like I needed to get a lot done today. Then I just gave up and decided to take a nap telling God, "For once I don't want to worry about work and just relax even though I have a lot to do today and over the next few days." Not getting enough sleep over the past week didn't help either. I decided that it would be a mini Sabbath, since I had to lead PLTL later that night.

I felt refreshed after my 1.5 hour nap. It's just nice not to think that my worth is tied to how productive I am or how many things I do. Like I heard somewhere (I don't remember if it's a Bible verse or something someone said about Sabbath), people weren't made for the Sabbath, the Sabbath was made for people. However I feel like people and society value ambitious, hard-working, active, productive people involved in many different things. If you're not constantly filling your time doing something productive, meaningful, or worthwhile, you're either being lazy, managing your time poorly, not doing enough, or just plain useless; nor are you contributing back to society or the community.

I need to learn that it's not what I do or who I am, but just that God loves us no matter who we are or what we do. I also need to realize that God made us who we are for a reason, and that not only does it not matter how talented or competent we are, but that God has given us special abilities, no matter how worthless or inadequate I might feel, that we can use to help others and to glorify and serve Him. We don't have to do anything to earn his love. Why am I such a slow learner?

Room for Improvement

I need to...

give more time to God, especially with quiet time, devos, and reading scripture.
help make ACF more like a fellowship.
get to know freshman in ACF better.
build relationships with people outside of ACF.
be more involved/continue involvement in ACF.
not fall behind in class.
get sleep.
exercise (sadly IM sports aren't technically enough).

How am I supposed to do all this??? .... -_- I don't think I can. I don't want to make diff eq my nap time...

Character Strengths (copycat)

After reading Joy's blog post about character strengths, I was curious to see what my character strengths were. You can also take the test at authentichappiness.com. I think this test describes me pretty well...what do you think? Oh, and I would love to hear about other people's results!

Your Top Strength

Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness
Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.

Your Second Strength

Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith
You have strong and coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe. You know where you fit in the larger scheme. Your beliefs shape your actions and are a source of comfort to you.

Your Third Strength

Caution, prudence, and discretion
You are a careful person, and your choices are consistently prudent ones. You do not say or do things that you might later regret.

Your Fourth Strength

Fairness, equity, and justice
Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.

Your Fifth Strength

Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.

Forgiveness

I'm still having trouble forgiving someone. Yet God can forgive EVERYONE of ALL of their sins, no matter how great or small. His love is unconditional and limitless. And even then I'm supposed to be as bad of a sinner as say, a serial murderer or rapist. Crazy.